Wednesday, March 25, 2009
I told my boyfriend about us. It was after I gave him a BJ in the stockroom at Denny's where we work. I give awesome head, and thought it would be nice of me to put him in a good mood by sucking him off before breaking the bad news that my heart belongs to another. Better he hear it from yours truly rather than discover that we're an item from People Magazine or Entertainment Tonight. After I made him cum, I simply said, "I met someone." Okay, maybe I haven't actually had the pleasure of making your acquaintance, but I've been following your career on TV and in the tabloids ever since your spouse went missing so it feels like you're an old pal, and since we're soul mates, I'm sure we were lovers in several past lifetimes, and go way back. I added, "These things happen, it's nobody's fault," so he wouldn't blame himself. I was just trying to let him down easy. And he started laughing so hard I thought he was gonna pee on himself, I swear to God! He said, "In your dreams, you stupid bitch. Which unattainable celebrity is it this week?" Don't worry, I was discreet. I don't think the fact that you're a famous incarcerated wife killer is any of his beeswax, do you? Plus, it would hurt him too much to learn that you've been on tons of magazine covers and are more in the limelight than he'll ever be, especially since he wasn't blessed with the same supermodel good looks we were that would have been his ticket out of Canton, Ohio, and that's why the loser will be stuck slinging burgers at Denny's for the rest of his friggin' life! Also, he never tells me who he hooks-up with, so why should I tell him? Instead I find out through my BFF who sends me photos of him naked with a big boner from his latest fuck's Facebook page. So fair's fair. But at least now our relationship is out in the open, and we don't have to sneak around behind my boyfriend's back. Kewl!