Sunday, April 5, 2009
I'm not mad just disappointed. Why haven't you written back? I mean, I know that you're busier than a bee on Death Row protecting yourself from other inmates who think you're a hottie like I do, and are trying to have sex with you up the butthole, but could you take a time-out to let me know if you've received my letters? I sure would appreciate it! I also sent you a care package with a metal nail file hidden inside a Twinkie, and hope the prison guards didn't steal that delicious snack food for themselves. Oh, and fancy stationary isn't necessary, even a word or two hurriedly scribbled on a piece of toilet paper would suit me just fine. And I promise I won't sell it to the National Enquirer, even though I could definitely use the money for modeling headshots, I would never exploit our relationship like that.